Hopeless to Hopeful in Times of Uncertainty
Hi, everyone, welcome to the Awaken into Love podcast. This is your host, Kiyomi LaFleur, and we're on episode number 8. I just want to for a moment right before we go into this podcast, right before we talk about what I'm going to talk about today and go into, I just want to take a moment to pause and breathe. So at this moment, wherever you are, I don't care if you're standing and OK, if you're walking, I don't care if you're sitting. I'm going to really invite you with me to place your right hand on your heart and take three nice deep breaths in. Really feel your lungs expanding and moving back inwards as you breathe. Take this moment just this second for yourself. So much of the time we are running around during the day. Without really feeling our breath, without really coming into the present moment to see what is here. And so I wanted to just start this podcast with just an aspiration and a moment of pausing to just connect with the breath to help the nervous system. To help us remember where we are right now and right here. So this podcast doesn't really have too much of a script. Or too much detail to this idea of what I'm going to be talking about today, but I really wanted to just talk from my heart today. I know that there's a lot of people right now. Feeling uneasy, feeling hopeless, feeling sad, feeling angry, feeling confused, there's a lot of despair going on in the world right now. And I'm speaking mostly to people in the United States with everything going on with the election that happened yesterday. But I know that a lot of people throughout the world are feeling the rippling effect of the election as well. And, of course, for today's podcast, I did want to address the people who are feeling those feelings of hopelessness and anger, and confusion. But I also wanted to address people all around the world who are feeling any sense of difficulty or despair. Not only internally, but also with things that just feel really challenging in the world. Outside of our homes, in our communities. The people we love throughout the world. And the thing about being human is that pain is a part of life. We can't escape it as much as we want to, as much as we may go into obsessive thinking and anxiety as a way to cope. We cannot escape the pain of life. But the powerful thing about being human is that we can choose how we react to the pain that we feel, to the suffering that may arise due to feelings of confusion or despair that we feel are wrong. And so this podcast today is really dedicated to you if you are feeling that way if you're feeling confused if you're feeling scared. Because this year of 2020 has been no joke. I want to admit that I want to say that right up front, as a collective, we've been going through a lot. And it can be really important to acknowledge that. As we may be navigating the difficult emotions and the feelings that may be coming up. Now, there are a couple of things that I want to go over today in the podcast. I know for a lot of people who may be feeling hopeless or feeling confused or angry, I want to give you a couple of different tools to help your nervous system to help you in the way where things feel more manageable, where you can create a safer container within so things don't feel too overwhelming. I also want to give you just reminders as we're going through this period. Because I know how much the mind, the ego can hijack and take over when things feel really difficult as a way to cope. So I'm here to remind you of strong truths that I'm going to invite you to take into your heart today to put inside your pocket to allow the seeds of truth to ripple throughout your body. As you move forward to your morning, your afternoon, or your night, or whatever time it is with the way you are.
[00:05:35] Now, the first thing I want to say with everything going on in the world right now, is that it is expected for emotions, difficult emotions to arise. When we witness and see things that feel really scary, that feels really confusing. That makes us feel angry. And so I want to remind you that it is important. Despite how difficult your emotions may feel. To be tender and kind to yourself. To be tender, what does that mean? It means to be gentle. It means to be gentle to any difficult emotion you may be feeling. As humans, we have a tendency to make the emotions that feel scary wrong. Anger, especially for people who identify as women. It's really an emotion that's taught to be suppressed in society. And difficult emotions in general for us as humans. Can feel really scary, especially when we don't feel safe in them, when we feel as though they can take over or when we feel as though we are the emotions that I want to remind you, you are not. So again, with everything that you're witnessing in the world right now, with the elections, with politics, with things that may frighten you. I want to remind you to be tender and gentle to yourself. Just like a loving, compassionate mother to a trembling child. To be compassionate and to be gentle is to first acknowledge the emotions that are coming up remembering that they are not you. But then to bring acceptance to the emotions. So this is something that we heavily go over in the ROCD course, but especially in AIR, how to work with emotions. But I want to give you an example of what that looks like, what it means to be tender to yourself. I know that there's a lot of anger and fear coming up with a lot going on in the world. So you might have a tendency to numb out or block out emotions that you may be feeling. So if there's numbness there or if there's a feeling of disconnect or even depersonalization, just acknowledge that. Just witness that. But if you can get past those blockages, you will notice that there will most likely be other emotions that feel not safe or uncomfortable, like a sense of anger or a sense of fear or sense of anxiety in your chest. And what we do as we work with these emotions, as we transform and integrate them again because they're not wrong, they're powerful. Is that we bring loving, compassionate kindness to these emotions? Just like a loving mother to a trembling child. So I want to remind you. Throughout this time where we are today. How we are collectively in this world. To bring tenderness to your emotions. To bring kindness to your emotions. Many times we may feel as though the emotions are wrong, when in fact they have all the right to be here. In these times, they are a representation of your strong, resilient, compassionate, and loving heart. What a gift.
[00:10:07] So if there's anything that you can do today if there's anything that you can do for the next couple of days, it is to just be kind to yourself. So something that I love doing is placing my right hand on my heart. Pausing, just like we did at the beginning of the podcast, labeling and noticing what is here. I even ask myself what is going on inside me right now. I tune into my throat, my heart, and my stomach. And this is something that we do with a lot of our clients and our members. And I notice what is there. Oh, there's fear here or there's sadness, oh there's anxiety. OK. Allowing that emotion to be and then bringing loving-kindness to that emotion. Again, allowing that emotion to be. Now, why is that important during these times of everything that's going on in the world right now? It's important because it allows us to not be inside the emotion. It allows us to separate ourselves from the motion so we can then feel more grounded and clear and take an important action. It is important because it allows the emotion that we feel that may feel stuck to be integrated and move into a place of opening in compassion into our hearts. I'm going to do another podcast another time on why compassion and loving-kindness are so scientifically proven to be so important not only for yourself but your relationships and for the world. But one thing you can start to do to bring compassion and tenderness to yourself is to allow and accept whatever is here. Now, that's a beautiful practice that I usually do a couple of times a week, once a day, which is just to check in and notice what is here and see if I can breathe into that motion and bring kindness to it.
[00:12:26] Now, the other thing that I want to remind you is the truth, aside from the truth of bringing kindness and compassion to yourself and the importance of that. It's to remind you, as always, that even though things might feel really lonely and scary right now to remember that you are not alone. It is so easy for the mind to hijack our inner essence. When there's so much going on in the world. When things feel so scary, when things feel so uncertain, and so it is my reminder to give you the truth that you are not alone, that despite what you see on media, despite what you see in the news, there are people like you walking alongside you in this path. Holding your hand and walking with you. So if there's ever a lie within your mind that comes in and says that you are not alone or I'm sorry that you are alone. Recognize that illusionary fear. And that lie. And remember that there are other people walking this path with you.
[00:13:48] The other truth that I want to remind you is that you and we as a planet, as people on the planet are a lot more resilient and powerful than we think. When things feel very uncertain, the mind has a tendency to go into black or white thinking, to go into catastrophizing, to go into hopelessness, to go into the sense that this will be like this forever. We are doomed. This is wrong. I will be like this forever, I will feel like this forever again, this is an illusion. This is the mind's tendency to go into black or white thinking, to feel safe, to feel in control. To find some sort of certainty.
[00:14:48] So I want to remind you the third truth today that you are more resilient and powerful than you can ever imagine. And I want you to remember every person that is powerful and resilient walking this path with you when things feel hopeless when things feel scary when things feel bad. Always know that there's always a flip side in a way where we can't be in the dirt and the mud forever. Hope, resilience, and power will always come out from the dirt, and that is where we rise. So these three truths bring tenderness and compassion to yourself because that is the gateway toward freedom to a deeper sense of peace, not only with ourselves but to the world. That you are not alone, that there's a community of people, even though you may not see it walking alongside you. The mind has a tendency to go into the negativity bias and think of all the people who are against us. And we start to feel small and small and hopeless. And so what I want to invite you at this moment is to think of the people who are walking alongside you. I love this one quote by Mr. Rogers. I don't know exactly what it is, but I always remember it. He says something along the lines of when he was younger when he was about three years old, he was watching the news and he kept pointing out people that were really scary and his mom said something along the lines of Sweetie. There will always be the helpers, look out for the helpers. So when your mind goes into black or white thinking today, remember those helpers and remember yourself as one of them. Now, the third truth, which is the truth that you may not be feeling right now. Is the fact that you are resilient is the fact that you are strong and not only are you strong, but other people are as well. And it is through the dark times, it is through the mud, it is through the blackness, it is through the struggle that we rise, that we become resilient.
[00:17:31] There are a couple of different practices that I want to give you today to help you. Especially if you feel really overwhelmed by everything that you're seeing on the news. And you're constantly looking online, checking in to see the newest updates. There are a couple of different tools that I use that I want to speak about today. The first, as hard as this may be, is to see if you can limit how much time you are watching the news and you are on social media. Be honest with yourself and it's OK if it's a lot. We're in a difficult time right now. But if you notice yourself getting a feeling of deeper and deeper sadness and despair and anger, that may be a good time to draw in some boundaries for yourself, and this doesn't mean to not look at the news or not go on social media. But it means to limit the time that you're on it, which can actually be hurting you instead of helping you. So for me, I am just looking at the news maybe once today. Twice today with a time limit. The other thing, as I've mentioned a little bit earlier, is to lean on the community right now, so lean on people who are also walking this path with you, lean on your mentors, lean on your coaches, lean on your friends. Lean on the people you can trust. Lean on them for support. Now you can bring the first truth by going into loving kindness and becoming tender with yourself. That is an extremely important practice. But you might be asking how you can do that. Now I gave an example a little bit earlier of ways you can start to work with emotions. But one thing that you can just start to do is to just do little random check-in with yourself. So you might have something within your room or something throughout your house that you can use almost like a mindfulness bell. So some people like to use texts coming through notifications. For me, I've gone to this place of training myself where I can notice if an emotion feels very difficult or heavy and I can pause and step into the emotion and start to integrate it. But if that feels difficult for you, you can always have a mindfulness bell to check into the emotions. So that would look something like the notifications being alerted and then you ask yourself what's going on inside me right now? A great place to check in is your heart, your throat, and your stomach. You might feel nervous there. You might feel fear there. And what you're going to do is you're going to breathe into that emotion and allow it to be and give a kind and loving gesture to yourself, be tender and compassionate to yourself. Now, something that I also practice immensely, which I know some people with Awaken into Love and some people in the world don't practice is my faith and spirituality. Some of you may be feeling completely disconnected from your faith and spirituality right now or have been for a while, and that's OK. But something that I personally do is lean on this understanding that there is a higher power above me or around me. That has everything in control. That I can do my best that I can take action from my heart. And then let go knowing that I can surrender and trust. And I really want to remind you that this takes practice, this takes time. And then and in no way am I bypassing the difficulties of life. I really want to say that. And I am in no way putting a bypass of positivity onto the difficulties in life, but more so I am choosing to lean into something higher to help my nervous system. And to help the world and the planet as well, why? Because as I help my own emotions, as I tune into my own emotions, as I surrender, let go. I help others to do the same. So that's something that I personally practice that has been immensely powerful for me. Again, in the future, I will be talking more about spirituality, faith, God, higher power spirit, because that is actually something that I deeply practice, and that's been really helpful for me in my life. And I know it's the same for Alexis as well.
[00:22:40] So again, these are just a couple of different tools that you're welcome to use throughout any emotions or any feelings that you're feeling right now. I really want to say first and foremost that I know that this is a really challenging time, and it has been. And again, to just be gentle and kind with yourself, this time has really brought up a lot of internal conflict for people, especially with them being in a relationship with someone who may have different political beliefs. I want to add my own perspective in that and say that. This year has been such a year of purposeful division. From social media and society, in my perspective, from mainstream media, from the news, to be able to divide us politically. Cancel culture is huge. Cancel culture is something that Alexis and I talked about in another YouTube video and podcast, which was, I believe, episode number four. But just keep in mind that the idea of division and the intention of division is very, very rampant this year. So why do I say this, because if you feel yourself and you feel your ROCD getting worse and worse because you feel conflicted because your partner has different beliefs, or maybe not the same exact beliefs? Know that also might be societal brainwash conditioning. Telling you that you need to go into black or white thinking that your partner is bad, that your relationship is bad. And what I would invite you to do instead is to just notice the triggers, recognize them, bring kindness and compassion to yourself for being triggered. Know that in the state that we are in right now and have been in 2020. We have been taught to divide. To cancel. To be triggered even more to go into black or white thinking. So bring compassion to yourself for that as well, but that's not your fault. And the third thing which could be a little bit more challenging is to see how this conflict can help your relationship. What can you learn from one another? How can you move into a deeper state of love? How can you use this time to grow with one another? I swear I could talk about this in another podcast, and I probably will, but I just want to say for a moment that we have really this year been taught to push away opinions and ideas and beliefs that maybe aren't exactly the same as ours instead of communicating and coming together. To understand each other. And so if you feel and notice yourself going into that again, just notice that is really part of a lot of what the mainstream media tries to do. But instead, see how you can use it as an opportunity to awaken. See how you can use it as an opportunity to bring more compassion to yourself and bring more connection in your relationship and to the world.
[00:26:27] So that's it for today's podcast. All on any difficult feelings you may be feeling because of what's going on politically. In the election, wherever you are in the world, we've all been witnessing a lot of challenges this year. And I want to remind you that you are not alone in what you're feeling. It can feel hard. But I want to remind you again and again that we are walking this with you. Love you all. Thinking of you all, remember that you are resilient, we are resilient. Here's to being human everyone. I'll talk to you all soon. Bye-bye.