WATCH THIS: If You Want To Heal From ROCD/ANXIETY

“If we want our relationships to be better, quicker, faster, to love deeper now, to heal faster now, to awaken faster now, to feel something faster now.  Then we are actually going against who we are and our nature. We are bringing an energy of aggression into our body and into our nervous system, which actually disconnects us from our innate

I want to just remind you something really important before I start, which is that you have this opportunity right now within you to be able to heal and to be able to awaken. You are not different. You are not the exception. You have everything within you to heal. It is your innate birthright to heal. The difference is that we weren't taught how. We weren't taught how to awaken. We weren't taught how to heal. We weren't taught how to use the mud and the difficulty in the darkness in a way that allows us to become stronger, more awakened, more connected within ourselves and then also within our relationship. That is our passion with Awaken into love and I want to really remind you that as you're watching this video, if any type of thoughts come up, that's like I'm the only exception. Just watch that. That doesn't have to be you. That doesn't have to be your story. You get to decide and create that when you notice that thought.

 So I want to really remind you that you have this potential of healing. And I'm here specifically because I've been through what you've been through. Doesn't matter if you're in the most debilitating state of ROCD, if you are feeling like you're in excruciating emotional pain, if you feel like you're just having just regular anxiety or maybe you're just having doubts, maybe you're just having fear but doesn't really look like the debilitating form of ROCD. And that's okay. Or maybe you've already gone through the phase of ROCD and relationship anxiety and you're just in the state of wanting to awaken deeper. You're here too, and you're invited here too. So no matter where you are in your journey, I've been there and I always want to be this representation for you, to show you that I was once where you were. And I've gone through this tremendous healing and awakening within myself to be at this place of deeper freedom within myself and within my relationship. I also never want to be here. I'm kind of on this pedestal like I've gotten everything fixed or everything is healed within me, because that's just not being human. And I want to be able to be here and be honest and be vulnerable in a way to be able to help you. I'm not going to come up here and just show you this kind of magical form of life. Even though my life does feel very magical, I do suffer, too. And so this video in specific is a little bit more of my personal journey and what I've been going through recently in a way where I hope it really touches something within you. I really hope that it helps your heart in some way for what you may be going through with ROCD, but something that you can take within your whole life, because this message that I'm going to teach you today or speak about today is just part of being human. 

So about a week ago, I posted something on Instagram where I was honest with the community and I said that I've been kind of in the mud in my life. I felt that within the last couple of months, I've kind of been in this, like, limbo, the state of confusion, but the state of darkness, but also kind of like feeling like I was trudging through the mud and it didn't have anything to do with ROCD or anxiety or having obsessive thoughts. It actually really had to do with just the reality of being human. In life, we can get so caught up in feeling as though there's something wrong with us if we're not feeling states of ecstasy, if we're not healed completely, if we haven't gotten it figured out immediately, if we're not in this perfect state, excitement and peace all the time. I'm here to remind you that I've done so much growth and healing within myself. But guess what? That also means that I also go through the mud. I go through times of darkness. I go through times of difficulty. I go through times of confusion, but the difference between myself and maybe your path is that I see it in a different lens now. I see it in a way that it is teaching me something about myself to awaken deeper, to come more back into my wholeness, into this humanness. So within the last couple of months, I've kind of been struggling actually with Awaken into Love in a way where there's so much more I want to share with all of you aside from ROCD. I feel like there's a bunch of a bunch of exciting things that I really want to continue to share just beyond relationship work, but just beyond life and just being human that I know is so beneficial. But I haven't known how to put that message out, how to get there or what that looks like, which has caused me to kind of be in this stuck sensation. Maybe you've realized that I haven't been posting on social media as much. I haven't been doing my podcast. I haven't been putting much YouTube content out there. And I recognize within that journey that I had a lot of resistance come up. I had voices come up and stories and cognitive distortions that said, I'm not doing enough, I'm not being enough. There's more I need to be doing. I constantly need to be doing it. And I'm not enough, that I'm only worthy if I am putting content out there, if I am taking different action steps, if I am helping people, that is within my worthiness. I have been and was able to see it as distortion's as different stories that we get in society and also from childhood. I also know from working within myself and working with clients and members from all around the world, that healing comes with different distortions. And I want to name those distortions today where they come from and why they come up in a way to show you that you are just right where you're meant to be. Allow that to sink in for just a moment. You are right where you're meant to be. I am right where I'm meant to be. You are right where you're meant to be in your healing and your growth, even if you're in a place of feeling stuck or confused or you're feeling panic or you're feeling even triggered watching this, just noticed that. Recognize that. But you're right where you're meant to be. And there can be a lot of resistance when we hear that because we feel as though we're never enough. We need to be more. We need to be more healed. We go into comparison. We look at social media and we constantly feed our subconscious that there's something wrong with us if we're not at this one place that we want to be at. The present moment feels so intolerable. And so we're constantly in this rat race of chasing the next moment, the next moment of being better and being better, when in reality where we are today is enough. I want to also add something really important. That doesn't mean that we don't strive, doesn't mean that we don't go after our dreams or we don't continue on the path of healing. But it allows the nervous system to actually heal when we come into a deeper state of stillness and recognition that right now where we are at, is exactly what healing and awakening looks like. So this video is specifically for you. If you feel like you're not enough, if you feel like your healing is not enough, if you're angry at yourself for relapsing again. If you're upset at yourself and feel like there's something wrong with you, if you've been stuck in the mud, if you're feeling confused, if you're feeling lost, but let me tell you right now, what if this was just the normal part of healing and awakening and it was part of being human? What if this right now where you are right now is you healing? What if you just listen to me and taking a deep breath allows the emotions to settle, which rewires the nervous system to let you know that you're safe, which creates a completely different neural pathway. You are where you are meant to be.

 But it's usually society and our social media era of instant gratification and technology, combined with a mix of stories from childhood that constantly tells us that we need to be doing more. I want to tell you something that's really important. The constant need to heal and the constant need to be at a different place and be better can be a bypass, a distortion for healing. It means that you are most likely afraid of being with what is here. There's some sort of resistance. There's some sort of fear that comes up saying that "you're not safe where you are right here". But in actuality, the healing starts right here at this moment. The awakening starts right here in this moment, not next week, not next month, where you are more healed or you are better from ROCD. It starts right now, at this moment, you are watching me right now. A lot of people ask me where these beliefs have come from, like why it's so prevalent to constantly be at the state of needing more or needing to be at a different place. And I am introspective on my own journey and where my distortion's came from. I know I've been in the mud for the last couple of months or so. I've also started to recognize that this is part of the process, that I'm actually in the right place by being in the mud because we can't constantly have these states of feeling good. We must also have darkness. Think about a plant and how the seed needs to be in the ground in order for it to come up. We are not separate from nature, but we've become so robotic in a way where our life is constantly in a relationship with technology and social media, where comparison is so real, we're literally comparing ourselves constantly to being a robot. 

We think that we need to be fixed immediately. We need to find the specific formula, the 30 day fixing challenge where we have overcome ROCD in 30 days. No more, no less, but 30 days. We have become programmed to believe that if we don't have it now, that something's wrong with us and something's wrong with our relationship. Now, technology is amazing. I'm not saying anything wrong about technology or social media, but we have to understand the darkness that also does come when the distortions that can come with something that's so addictive. There are studies out there that say that Facebook and Instagram and other social media sites have actually mirrored the same action as gambling. They've literally studied casinos in Las Vegas to see why it's so addicting and to then translate that unto social media. So no wonder we're so stuck in this loop of constantly needing more and needing something quick and needing a fix quickly. It has allowed us to come into a place where we don't feel patient with things. We start to grasp on feeling like we need the fix right now or we need to be healed right now. And if not, something's wrong with us because technology and social media has shown us that that's the new way. But what if healing and growth was completely opposite? What if we don't work like that? Because we don't. What if healing actually takes a lot of patience, a lot of time, and it requires us to slow down. It requires us to allow our body to heal on its own, allow the brain to heal on its own, which it will, but with time, patience and a lot of compassion.

 If you're starting to notice yourself getting hard on yourself right now, being like, well, that's me; I'm noticing myself really pushing myself down, needing to grow and needing to be healed. What's wrong with me? I'm going to invite you to pause, tell you just right off the bat, you're not alone. It's all of us. I've recognized it within me too, when I felt like I needed to be at a different place with Awaken into Love. I needed to do more. I needed to be more. But I want to mirror to you the Awaken into Love method, and I want to preach what I do. And with the Awaken into Love Method, we believe in compassion and grace and slowing down because we know that is the way to healing. That is the way to awakening. 

So I want to add that many of us have picked up these behaviors and habits from childhood. Maybe our parents constantly reinforced this idea that we were not enough unless we were constantly doing something, unless we felt a certain way or acted a certain way. They may have rewarded us with achievements focused solely on us, with our careers and doing instead of just being, just being human and being loved and worthy just as we were. So with that reinforcement, we might have had this belief in the back of our mind subconsciously that we needed to constantly be doing. And if we were slower or if we weren't at this place that we weren't fast enough, which reinforced the subconscious idea that we are not enough and something's wrong with us. That then brings up the obsessive thinking of us feeling as though we are maybe not in the right relationship or there's something wrong with us and our partner. But all of you to think for a moment of nature and healing, how the butterfly takes its time being in the cocoon, how the seed takes its time coming up to blossom, how the seasons take its time within the earth, how the fall transforms and dies into winter and winter, then transforms and blossoms into spring and how summer, with its sweetness and its hotness, transforms into new buds. It takes time. We are part of nature and you are not separate from it. 

If we want our relationships to be better, quicker, faster, to love deeper now, to heal faster now, to awaken faster now, to feel something faster now, then we are actually going against who we are and our nature. We are bringing an energy of aggression into our body and into our nervous system, which actually disconnects us from our innate capacity to heal. And again, I want to remind you, it's not your fault.

 Social media and technology has really moved us away from the importance of boredom, the importance of dullness, the importance of neutrality, which is actually part of being in a relationship. So if you can imagine that we're constantly being fed this idea that boredom and neutrality is not something good, then we start to associate that with being in a relationship. When in reality, being in a relationship is part of this dullness and sometimes boredom or a couple of different distortions that come up when we think of growth and healing, especially in regards to ROCD and relationship anxiety.

Sometimes we can really bypass our emotions and what is the difficulty by constantly focusing on the future and thinking of the end result, because what is here are the emotions and the difficulty feels so intolerable and it feels so difficult. And contrary, we are also afraid of healing. So sometimes it can be kind of this push or pull where we are wanting to be at the state of greater healing and greater awakening. But at the same time, we are afraid of being in that state. So it can kind of be this push that happens. But then also this pull that happens, that walking up ahead, but then kind of pulling back and we can kind of be doing this dance and keeping ourselves in this coping mechanism. You might also be afraid of being happy. We may also be afraid of being in the neutrality and the normalcy of being in a relationship, which is why we might also be constantly focusing on the future or end result. 

Here are some beliefs that may be a little bit more subconscious that may come up for you: "If I'm healed, then I can enjoy my life and my relationship, " "If I'm healed, then I'm finally enough and I'm loved and I'm worthy if I'm healed", "I'm healed, then I'm worthy for my partner," "But if I'm not healed, then I am not worthy and I don't deserve their love." Can also be this feeling of feeling guilty for not doing enough of the work as so we have to constantly be doing more and working more and healing more in order for us to seek that freedom that we're looking for. 

We do the work that we don't have to feel that guilt of not feeling as though we're not enough. So it really equates this idea of I am enough if I am doing and I'm only enough if I'm healed. Again, it is my mission to bring you back into the state of your wholeness and your humanness, to come back into the state of who you are in your own awakening, in order for you to feel more peace and fulfillment within your life and your partnership. And I want to remind you over and over and over again that our bodies, our minds and our spirits don't work with the state of urgency. They don't work in the state of fastness. They don't work in the state of needing to be at the specific place and needing it right now. 

Our body, mind and spirit works in patience. It works on time. It works in a longer state of growth. So, again, if you feel as though you need to be at a certain place or you're not enough, let me remind you right now, that you are right where you are meant to be. And if your brain is going to a state of comparison right now, thinking about another person who has maybe started this journey with you with ROCD, know that every plant takes their time to bloom, but we don't force it to go faster. It could depend on the plant's environment. It could depend on the plant's genetics, and it could depend on where that plant came from. You are no different. You are no different from nature and you are no different from that plant. Just as a plant takes its time and moves and grows and heals us in our own way, you are just the same.

 So how can we use this challenge in a way to awaken? How can we use this difficulty as feeling as though we're not enough and feeling as though we need to be at a different place in order to strengthen us, in order to actually create more intimacy with ourselves. These are my reminders, understanding that if we're going through difficulty and we're going through the darkness, that this is normal. Darkness and difficulty in many cases, especially if we're going into therapy and going into deeper healing, is necessary and needed in order to heal and awaken. This through the darkness that many times in the future, we look back in awe, recognizing that we've grown the most through the darkness when we've chosen to heal.

I want to remind you, what if right now you were right where you were meant to be, not bypassing the situation, but really asking yourself, "What if right now I'm just where I'm meant to be?" Ask yourself, if you believe that you were using the need to heal, to grow, to be at a different place, as a way to cope, as a way to bypass what is here, as a way to escape the ROCD and the anxiety that you feel, if you said yes, then allow yourself to use this as a moment of exposure. What needs tending right now at this moment? How can you actually start to heal and awaken right now in this moment where you're meant to be by tending with compassion, with love and care to what is here right now.

 If there wasn't any place to go but here in this moment and the tenderness of your heart and the fear of your inner child and the sadness in your belly, what if what was meant to be was to be here, where you are now in this present moment. If there is nothing to push away or change in this moment, but if there is nothing to fix, but instead to be with the silence and awareness of what is here, you are right where you're meant to be. I am right where I'm meant to be. And we can always use these challenges, these cognitive distortions, the suffering, this difficulty, the darkness in life to remind us as a mindful bell to come back into our heart, to come back into the present moment, to heal into our innate quality and being of who we are, of just being human.

 So before I end this video, I want to remind you of something really important, because I know how ROCD works. I know how anxiety works. I know how black or white distortion's can come in. So if that's you, if you recognize yourself after this video, go into this black or white mindset, like "I can't do the work or I just need to just be at this place and be in total surrender."

And this is my reminder for you. I am in no way negating doing the work. It is so important to do the work, to see a therapist, to speak to a coach, to do the Awaken into Love method, to do other programs in order for you to go into your healing. The problem is that we usually use coping mechanisms and bypass our actual healing by grasping on to needing to be fixed, by grasping on to the state of needing to feel as though we are only enough if we are completely healed, which causes a state of aggression within our nervous system, which actually pulls us deeper into suffering.

So if you took that within you with this video, it is just my reminder that it is equally important to do the work, but to also bring in a state and presence of compassion and also reminding yourself that as you're doing the work, you are right where you're meant to be.

You are right where you're meant to be.